This Turkey Ain’t Flying

There’s a lot to be thankful for at this time of year. There’s food, my loving wife, there’s freshly baked cookies, there’s our baby boy, there’s . . . oh is that pie? Cut me off a little slice, would ya? A little bigger. Bigger. Yes, I am aware that’s a whole quarter of the pie. Get outta here with those judgmental eyes. There’s still some left isn’t there? Be thankful for that. Yes, this year seems especially thanks-filled.

Basically, the holiday season is a sanctioned two month eating binge. I mean, I’m sure there will be some eaters remorse come the first of the year but gimme a break, that’s two whole months away. With all the chores to be done around here, I’m sure Bex will work the extra pounds off long before New Years eve. Even if she doesn’t, we still have something remarkable to be thankful for.

Yes, I’m talking about the baby, but more specifically, I’m talking about what having a newborn means for our holiday travel plans. What  plans, you ask? Exactly. When you have a newborn, nobody expects you to go anywhere. They come to you instead.

When I was a kid, the Thanksgiving tradition was rushing off to Aunt Brenda’s (on my mom’s side of the family) for dinner and then speeding off so we can make it to Aunt Kelly’s (my dad’s side of the family) for dessert.  There were some highlights in there. Like cousins, what little kid doesn’t like their cousins? Or the chocolate pie? What’s better than chocolate pie? Maybe sharing chocolate pie with your cousins? Nah, who in their right mind would share chocolate pie?  It was a marathon ordeal that started around two or three in the afternoon and ended well after midnight. But overall it was exhausting. Can you imagine us trying to squeeze in a visit with Bex’s family too?

“Sorry mom, we’ve got to fly to Northern California for dinner with the Allen’s first. Then we’ll be on the first flight to New York so we can make dessert at Aunt . . . any chance we can get both families together in one place? Stop worrying, I’m sure there won’t be any delays. Oh wait, our connecting flight is in Chicago. You know what, this seems liked a big hassle. Why don’t we just Facetime everyone instead?”

That conversation is bound to happen someday but for now, Luke is a newborn and nobody expects us to fly with a newborn. Actually, it seems to be forbidden.

“Flying with him, are you crazy? He’s just a baby. Think of the germs!”

Well I mean, if you all insist, I guess I’ll stay right here, the comfort of my recliner.

Since we are staying home, my mom, the legendary baby hog, is coming out to visit us for the week. She wasn’t able to be here for his birth so I’m sure she will be making up for lost time while she’s here. That means, she won’t let him out of her arms from the second she gets here up to the moment she leaves. Now, before you think my mom is too selfish, I assure you she won’t rob us of all quality time with our son. She’ll be sure to leave the middle of the night feedings to us.

You know what else is great about my mom visiting? The food. For a whole week, Luke and I will be able to kick back and nurse our bottles while we have,  not one, but two, count ’em two cooks in the kitchen. That means double the cookies, double the potatoes, and best of all, double the pie. They’ll leave cooking the turkey to me but I’m fine with that. There’s a lot of waiting involved in cooking a bird, a lot of sitting around and waiting. “I’d love to help change Luke’s diaper sweetie but I’ve got to keep an eye on the bird. Wouldn’t want to ruin dinner, right?”

Yup, there is certainly a lot to be Thankful for this year.

David’s Thanksgiving Blessing

Thank you for these blessings
Like Mom, Becca, and Luke
Traveling through O’hare makes me wanna puke
I’m glad we stayed home, maybe next year we’ll roam
No travel required but still I’m dead tired
We give thanks for potatoes and this gravy of brown
The squash looks divine and the pie smells sublime
That sure was absurd,
now let’s eat this dead bird.
Amen

As he grows up, the travel will come. We’ll fall into a rotating travel schedule. My side of the family one year, Bex’s family the next, then we’ll reverse it again. It’s a vicious cycle. But at least for this year, we get to enjoy our free pass. And you know what that means right?

Deck the friggin’ halls. I can’t wait for Christmas.