Tag: father

Coming Soon – Attack Of The Fifty Food Toddler

theincredidad January 18, 2020 0 Comments
Attack Of the Fifty-Foot Toddler! FADE IN: Cue Dramatic Overture INSERT - A revolving globe. When it stops revolving it turns briefly into a contour map of the United States, then into a flat map. Superimposed over this map are scenes of refugee parents fleeing from suburban houses by foot, car, and bicycle. NARRATOR (V.O.) Horror!Shock!Frenzy!Devastation! The images of map and refugees…
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One Of The Hardest Things About Being A Dad In 2019

theincredidad November 23, 2019 1 Comments
Hey there Incredidads. Maybe you haven’t noticed but I haven’t flipped on the IncrediSignal in a few weeks. I hope you haven’t noticed because that means, like me, you are trying to vanquish one of the vilest super-villains an IncrediDad can face; putting down the phone. In the Disney/Pixar film “The Incredibles”, the heroes face off against a villain named Screenslaver, who hypnotizes…
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National Lampoon’s Cross-Country Vacation

theincredidad August 22, 2019 0 Comments
"Well I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation...it's a quest. It's a quest for fun! I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun! We're all gonna have so much f***in' fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our damn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah out of your assholes!!!!"- Clark Griswold, National Lampoon's Vacation Yesterday, I packed the car for what will not be…
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Our San Franciscan Day

theincredidad August 20, 2019 0 Comments
You probably figured we’d be halfway across the country by now, huh? Surprise! We are still in the same state we started, only eight hours North. We wanted to visit Bex’s side of the family for a few days. It's been a lot of fun. Of course I love spending time with family but I always look forward to a day in San Francisco. It’s on my list of Top 10 Favorite Cities in the world. Here’s…
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A House Is Not A Home

theincredidad August 15, 2019 0 Comments
We moved out of our apartment today. After weeks of packing, trashing, and cleaning, this was a really big deal for us. Obviously it was not as big of a deal for our landlord who never showed up for our move-out appointment. Martha, if you’re reading this, we left the keys and garage remote on the kitchen counter. Good bye and good luck! Maybe you remember me describing our apartment two years…
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Oprah’s Got Nothing On Me

theincredidad August 3, 2019 0 Comments
I feel a lot like Oprah this week. And the movers get a thousand dollars! The auto-hauler gets a thousand dollars! Whoops there goes another thousand just for funsies! As I spend my meager fortune far faster than I ever made it, I'm starting to wonder why we have so much crap. When I moved to California almost a decade ago, I had three boxes and an iPod packed into the back of my SUV. That was…
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The Dad Knight

theincredidad July 14, 2019 0 Comments
Follow my blog with Bloglovin "Because we have to chase him. Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now, so we'll hunt him. Because he can take it, because he's not a hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector, a Dark Knight." - Commissioner Gordon, The Dark Knight- Also my son says this about me, you just can't understand him…
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Simple Distractions

theincredidad July 3, 2019 2 Comments
IncreiMom and I like to treat Boy Wonder to the fine dining experiences of Red Robin, IHOP, and occasionally Arby's. It's really a great deal. He shares off of my plate, which cuts calories for me. Then I burn off whatever I am able to shovel in my mouth (inside ten seconds) by chasing him around the restaurant after he declares "All done!". I don’t even feel guilty because it's dinner and a…
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Dance Class With IncrediDad and Boy Wonder

theincredidad April 7, 2019 2 Comments
Up until a month ago, I thought a pirouette was a kind of cookie. Turns out, it is a dance move. You see, Boy Wonder has been taking Ballet Class once a week and we are both learning so much. For example, you wouldn’t believe how many ballet terms sound food related: Sauté (so-Tay): please sauté that chicken with peppers and onions! Battement (Bot-Mah): I know I’ve ordered this from my…
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I’m Alfred, Not Batman

theincredidad February 27, 2019 0 Comments
As a father, and as a human being, I've learned to take the good with the bad. For example, it's a good thing that Boy Wonder has learned the word please. He knows it's proper use; "Peanut Butter peeze.", "Binky please.", "Money please." Wait a second, what was that? The flip side is that he knows how to weaponize the word too. "Phone please! Pleeeeeeease. PLEASE!" But he's just so damn cute, how…
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