Baby On Board

I still can't believe they let us walk out of the hospital with him. There must have been some mistake right? How could they trust someone like me to be responsible with someone so important? It was easy to look like a semi-competent parent when a team of nurses was present to supervise. But once we left the hospital, my precious safety net would be gone and the real trial by fire would begin.…
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NICU – The Sitcom

  Ladies and Gentlemen, please pardon the interruption. We now return you to the number one sitcom in America - The NICU. Starring Luke Gaygen as a fictional version of himself, the show revolves around a handful of newborns and their hilarious hi-jinx in the hospital. Luke is a strong and healthy baby who wound up getting moved into room #8 in the NICU after a mistake was made on delivery…
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Delivery Day (Part IV): Didn’t They Tell You

    I spent two hours in the NICU. When I went back to Labor and Delivery, a nurse stopped me in the hall just outside of Bex's delivery room. She had a very confused look on her face, and  I could see her trying to figure out why I was back here. "Didn't anyone tell you?" She asked. "Your wife was moved to the O.R." I felt like saying, "Oh gee, no they forgot to mention that trivial…
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10/30/2017 Delivery Day (Part II): It Went Great, Until It Didn’t. Then The Shit Hit The Fan.

  Around two a.m. I was rudely awoken from my nap. The epidural had done it's job and Bex was ready to push. So I groggily stood up, stretched, and wondered if I had time to take a seventh inning piss. She wouldn't mind right? Wrong. We were in the bottom of the ninth with two outs and it was time for Bex to hit a home run. Actually, it was time for her to hit our little baseball out of the…
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10/29/2017 Delivery Day (Part I)- The Waiting Game

Waiting is hard. I'm not a very patient man. Just ask my wife. She'll tell you it's true. Case and point, I am writing this in the delivery room. When I say that, what do you picture? Probably a scene from a movie if you're anything like me. Picture it, in all it's celluloid glory: Ext. City Hospital - Day A haggard looking, bumbling, BUFFOON, jumps out of his sports car, rolls across the hood…
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